Blades With Curvature

"You know what's kind of sad? We just spammed the fuck out of a 16 year old girl's relationship status on facebook." ~ The Ubiquitous Jon

Of Why Didn't You Vote, Sports Fan?

"Ah, they believe ignorant referees in hockey are worthy of murder but political influences are moot." ~ My Wandering Mind

Of Wisdom, Well Aged

"He was trained by a German Master Mechanic. I was trained by a German Shepherd." ~ The Foreman

Of Memes That Should Have Caught On, Skyrim

"Curved.. Swords." ~ Solitude Guard

Of Flowers, Delivered To A Co-Worker

"Why won't you give your flowers to my girlfriend? They're just gonna die anyway!" ~ Romantic Me

Of Computers, At Work

"They've messed up the system so bad, its terminal." Disgruntled Employee

Of Motivators, Motivating

"Any charge not negative must be positive." ~ Me

Of Miscalculation, Severe

"I don't know anyone who is sick more often than him, including me!" ~ Someone Who Is Sick More Often Than Him

Of Scents, Duplicate

"It must really confuse the dog. They [the twins] probably smell the same." ~ Mechanic Jen

Of Homeowners, Soon To Be

"I can't stop driving by the house, I feel like a stalker." ~ Candice

Of Cries for Help

"I'm not leaving my own little world until you're out of this one." ~ My Lovely Jen

Of Policies, Mafia

"Ditches get snitches" ~ Anonymous